The Battle Of Words and Honour, Can We Live By Them

My idea for starting this conversation was to confirm whether or not the society we live in gives women more space than men, I won't say yes or no, but I hope the response of these wonderful individuals from different places, schools and work places will justify your answer whether or not women have more space in life than men. I just hope they live up to their words, for action really and honestly speaks louder than words.

My question for the weekend was, "If you happen to find out you are impotent, would you tell your wife and break up with your girlfriend" and if you a lady find out you can't bare a child would you tell your husband or boyfriend. I received mix reactions and answers from my guest. In the end their answers were inspiring, educative and entertaining.

S. Awal replied " Yes, I would make it clear and demand we put to halt our relationship. Otherwise, the essence of any marriage will not be actualise. Hence,a waste of time and resource." Then I asked what was his advice to people in such situations, Awal answered " I would only advice that,persons in this situation should make it clear to their partners,seek treatment or just put an end to the relationship". So I asked Mr Awal again, " What if you find out your wife or girlfriend can't bare a child. What would you do" Mr Awal replied, " Oh,I think the situation is synonymous to the other issue. haha so will do same as I mentioned earlier " So I asked Mr Awal again, " What if you find out your wife or girlfriend can't bare a child. What would you do" Mr Awal replied "we seek treatment,if nothing is changed, then I ask her permission for a second wife"

Abdulah Rabi Before GOD and man i will continue wit the marriage if only he makes me happy besides is not all aut sex u know? is the love between the two of us, i admit it will be deficult but hey i will marry him. the difficult part is that they will think i can't conceive. I asked Rabi Would you tell everyone is not your fault but rather your husband. Rabi replied; No, but he should tell his mother and father not everybody Then I asked Rabi again:.. What would you do if you find out you can't bare a child Rabi replied. Will tell my husband, If he wish to have his own children, then he cam marry someone but with my concern.

Achirison De Baakobli Tampuli Oh yeah, i will break up with her since it will be unfair to continue denying her conjugal requirements. So I asked Mr Achirison; It is your decision to break up with her or you will let her make her own decision as to whether she wants to break up or not. Mr Achirison replied;.. I will discuss my intentions with her. I will also let her know that, my decision is to offer her a chance to be in a happy relationship. If she decides to still be with me, i wont sack her. So I asked Mr Achirison again, " What if you find out your wife or girlfriend can't bare a child. What would you do" Mr Achirison replied;... Every body and his /her motivational factor in marriage. My motivation is to procreate. So if a lady cant give me that, i have to find another.

Alhassan Sualehu Progress. Due to the the love u have for her, will surely tell her that I am impotent, if she leaves me due to my inability to give her a child, then we were not meant to be. So I asked Mr Alhassan;.. What if you find out your wife or girlfriend can't bare a child. What would you do. Mr Alhassan replied; I Will add a second wife

Abdulai Ibn Mas-ud Mpara She will definitely get to know even if you didnt tell her....you tell her and by then treat yourself if you can.... My next question to Mpara was, what if after telling him, she decides to leave you. Mpara replied;.. She don't love a man who will not be able to give her, her own kids. I asked Mpara again, What if you find out your wife or girlfriend can't bare a child. What would you do. Mpara answered, will go in for a second wife. I asked Mr Mpara will that be fair to your first wife Mpara answered;.. That will be the most fair to take

Ayisha Nantogmah Ayisha said " Can this impotency be treated if yes l advice u help him treat if it can't be treated u go in for divorce" I asked Ayisha: will that be fair to the man. Ayisha answered: What is marriage for. You are not there for friendship. I asked Ayisha again: What if u find out you can't bare a child. Would u tell your husband. Ayisha Replied: Even if l don't tell him n he himself find out he will either advice himself or add another one. And if he decides to add another wife, Do l have a choice? If l can't give you a child do l expect the two of us to be the same? NO. Though companionship is a reason for marriage but u wouldn't just get someone for dat reason.

Naana Hawah In the case of already married will just get a divorce because he should have told me the truth but for a guy i want to marry we can adopt. So I asked Naana Hawah; What if you findout you can't bare a child. What would you do, will u tell your husband or boyfriend Naana Hawah Replied; Yes i will just tell him straight up and strengthen my prayers so God will make me able I asked again Naana Hawah again; What if u can't just give birth, will u agree to your husband to take a second wife. Naana replied;.. No i won't, just concentrate on my career then

Phaiza Bilkiss answers; I have no option than to break up with him. Will make him understand that I luv him. But can't be with him. Coz I need to have children n also satisfy my sexual desire. I asked Phaiza: What if you findout you can't bare a child. What would you do, will u tell your husband or boyfriend. Phaiza Replied; I won't dere do that, I know he will find out that I can't give birth but I won't be the one to tell him. I asked Phaiza again; What if he goes in for a second wife. Phaiza replied, I will agree because I cant give him a child

Mur Phid answers I will tell my wife and we will find a proper way to treat it whiles praying to God for change that is the best thing to do. And with time you will surely get a good results. I asked Mr Mur Phid:.. What if things don't change Mr Mur Phid Replied: We adopt a child I asked again. Mr Mur Phid, U know women will she be content with adoption, especially when it's not her blood child. Mr Mur Phid answered: If she will not be then she might want to leave and if she does then you find someone who will be then. I asked again; Mr Mur Phid, if your wife can't give you a child, what would you do. Mr Mur Phid replied; I can add another wife, if she my first wife doesn't agree, then she should bring a solution.

Brago Josephine answers You and I know is not possible to be with a man who can't function like ' a man'. I mean not possible. But the problem here is that they are married, and marriage is for better for worse. So my point is,If something can be done about it then fine But to remain married to him, knowing he can't perform, come on, You know the implications. Because the woman has feelings and would like to satisfy her 'hunger' , she's always going to do what we all will term as 'abomination' Thus cheating. So the man should be kind enough to let the woman go. I asked Josephine: So will u agree for him to go in for a second wife, Josephine Replied:.. The question is , does he want a second wife? We can adopt Giving birth is not the only way to Have a child There are so many kids out there in need of care and love So why not Adopt Because I can't share my husband with anyone. If he insists on having his own children, then I will let him go.

Rahama Zakaria answers I don't think I will be able to go through with the marriage. I can't marry an impotent man. Staying faithful is important in marriage and also childbirth and in Africa if people are married and there is no kids the woman is to be blamed for that. I asked Rahama, So will u agree for him to go in for a second wife Rahama Replied: I don't mind but I do not want to be a second wife. If he can take care of the two and have the authority to keep them united plus your kids, there is nothing wrong with it, but if he can't hmm.

Rhammah Rhammat answers Then we would agree if we wanna have offsprings the nnormal way, or I will have to re-marry a different man. or better still we can agree to be together, I can do artificial insemination and produce offsprings for the man

Muhammad Naafi'u Answers In fact the best thing I would do is to inform my wife if only my wife or girlfriend are the only alternatives available. But to be frank my parents would have been the best people to inform before even my wife. I would like to know the kind of impotency you Rafiu Fishbone mean. If the man can't even have an errection, then it is very serious as the woman may not be able to satisfy her Sexual needs. Which I think forms the integral part of marriage. Especially if the woman is energetic. I'm not quite sure, but I think it's permissible to seek a divorce, from an impotent partner who can't satisfy u sexually. Moreover , in a hadith of the prophet concerning marriage by interpretation states that " calls on matured/ adult males to get married if they have the ABİLİTY" Ability here encompasses a lot of things from which amongst them is Sexual activeness. It would be a mockery on Allah and His prophet for an impotent person to get married. Subhanallah! Back to the main question. The women may decide to either leave the husband or stay. It would be unfair to say the woman is ungrateful after breaking up with the husband because of his impotency. Especially if the woman is still sexually young and or still hasn't got children. However leaving the man immediately upon learning his impotency may cause an indictment or doubt on the woman's true love for the man. Normally the woman should be patient to work with the man in finding treatment. If after their struggle and stil can't find cure, the the woman may decide to leave I asked Naafi'u:.. What if u find out your woman can't give birth. What will you do Naafi'u Replied Personally I will help my wife both spiritually, thus in prayers and medically in finding a cure. And still continue my Sexual relationship with her. I will also think of adding another wife if I am blessed with the opportunity. But not to divorce the woman. However, if the woman thinks her inability to give birth is from me then I can grant her a divorce if she seek for one. Because there numerous situations in which couples who aren't able to give birth break up and later conceive or have babies after getting married to different partners. Then I asked Naafi'u again:.. Will it be fair for the woman if u take a second wife, just because she can't give birth. Naafi'u Answered... Of course. That would be the best way than to divorce the woman especially if she stil loves you. Again, islam support and encourages marrying more than one wife if you can be able.