Divorce and Break ups. A Nightmare in the 21 Century

Every Weekend we attend weddings and engagements ceremonies, these ceremonies are been blessed by Religious leaders, months or few years later we either hear a divorce or break up. -What is always the cause? -Are the religious leaders fake that their blessings are not worth to keep marriage couples together? -Are the couple really ready for marriage? -Who is always the first to break up the marriage, Men or Women? -What can we do, to sustain our marriage/ relationships

Tamanda:.... Quite an interesting topic actually. I don't think anybody else is to blame except for timing. Sometimes it looks like couples rarely take the time to know each other. At times it's just lack of patience towards each other. It's sad to note that we are living in times where people jump at marriage when they are not ready for it and jump out the first time reality sinks in. Religious leaders are not fake. But they have a role to play into disciplining couples and making them realise what marriage really requires before agreeing to bless the unions. Marriages break up from both sides. It can either be the man wanting to bow out or even the woman first. It's both sides. What we can do is disciplining ourselves before we decide to marry. Knowing what it requires and how everyone has to work at their marriage no matter the odds.

Phid:..... Every relationship has its own problems. What keeps it moving its after a problem how one comes back to putting the relationship first without his/her heart desires.Loving each other for the sake of God is the best relationship. How can one love you,respect and obey you if he/she has not love,respect or obeyed his creator then definitely he/she will do same to you who is even less. We go to religious leaders for marriages. Do we go to them for solutions when there is a problem ? Or we go to bad friends to worsen it or else where. If religious leaders are the ones that put together our marriage then thier the only ones that can divorce us again not even our ownselves,police or court. Both men and women turns out to be the problems in marriage so it can not be determined which gender is always at fault. What can we do to sustain our marriages ?? It's simply. Total patience and prayers either from the man or woman or even both.

Luqman:.... Men doesn't marry their type of women, and a vice versa. Some men approach ladies with all kind of lies and flimsy promises in other to win her heart. So when the woman eventually arrives to meet such unfulfilled promises, that is where the problems start. Men should not make promises to women that they cannot keep. Another thing is long term relationship before marriage, a guy can be in a relationship with a girl for many years with excuse that they want to observe each other's character before they can marry. During that period, the girl will allow herself to be used by the guy in a way of committing certain immoral acts, and IF they finally decide to settle down it won't take long for the man to start going out to chase other women. Cos he already had enough of his wife during their relationship down to marriage, so he will want to taste something new. Marriage is a life time agreement, both partners needs love, attention, care, joy and happiness. So when all these things lacks, both couples can't live happily, especially the woman who suffers emotionally. Some men too spend a lot on women during their relationship or during their wedding. I don't know whether to please the woman or to show off. And when the woman doesn't get such money to spend anymore after the marriage, problems starts. So all in all, I will say men creates such unbearable life which forces the women into divorce out of frustration.

Shamseeyat Divorce from my own point of view is when a marriage gets legally dissolved and this can be influenced by countless factors out of which i will highlight just a few.Most marriages of our time are built on deceit in the sense that couples at the courtship stage fail to disclose to each other about the reality of their lives and that may include;financial status,past relationships and many others.Adding to this,many marriages today do not last because marriage is now seen as a "show off "event rather than a blessing that should bind families. It would suicidal if i should fail to mention trust.It is very important to keep a marrige alive and without this vital ingredient in a relationship, then breaking down would be the only way out.These are just but the few but to add to these i think our religious leaders do have a part to play for they sometimes fail to educate prospective married couples about the essence of marriage especially in our Islamic arena.