A Nuisance Child In The Society, " Who is to Blame "

I look at parents especially mothers and I ask myself are they living or existing, know matter how much love, care and attention you give your child or children, they are still human beings and you are not the only influence on them.

The baby born today grows to become the man or woman of the society, if he/she is good the society praise them, if he/she is bad the society rejects them. In Recent times many have blamed fathers for not being there for their children likewise many blame mothers. So I asked, who is to blame when the child grows up to be a menace " bad " in the society. Do we blame the father, the mother or society. Also how many of us agree with this phrase " when the child is good, praise the father, but when the child is bad, blame the mother "

( Alhassan Progress ) The individual behavior of parents and their interaction with each other are the basic lessons to the child. This combined with behavior of members of the society which she/he interacts with, can greatly influence his/her behaviour. If these conditions are good, the child grows with acceptable behavior. If bad she/he becomes a social misfit. the child grow to become socially acceptable. The baby grows to become a person the society thought him/her to be. If he/she is good the society benefits, if bad the society suffers. To who the baby grows to be depends on the exposure to the internal (home) and the external(society) environment. Even if they are divorced, it's the responsibility of both parents to take care of the child

( Ayisha ) Both help in the upbringing of the child, so if any of the partners is not there in bringing up of the child de fellow should be blame. Why blame the single parent if the child becomes bad, They are so many instances where single parent who brought up a child is far far better then couples who brought up one

( Luqman ) I think both parents has a share of blame when things like that happens. But in most cases the father takes all the blames, because he is the one who has full responsibility of the child. He has the power to control the child when he's straying, he should live an exemplary life for the child to copy because what you use in bringing up a child is what he will live with. You can't expect your child to live a positive and good life when you yourself is a gangster. Well, looking at it from Islamic perspective I don't think there is something like taking custody of a child when parents are divorced. the father is the one who should take full responsibility of the child upbringing when there is a divorce. But in case a divorce happens, the person who takes custody of the child should be blame if he/she fails to perform his/her parental duties well. That is, how to discipline the child when he does wrong, controlling his movement, knowing the kind of friends he hangs out with and also take full responsibility of the child's wellbeing. The mother too has much role to play in this case, the child sleeps and wakes up with her. So she should know everything going on, they say mother's love is greater than that of the father and I agree. Most mothers pamper their children to the extend that they will never see their mistakes even when the child goes wrong. Sometimes as a parent, you have to be strict on the child for him/her to know the differences between right and wrong. So I don't agree that "when the child is good praise the father and when he's bad blame the mother. Because if both parents play their roles well and takes their responsibilities in bringing up the child in a positive manner, no one will take a blame.

( Josephine ) It is and has always been the parent's responsibility to bring their children up to be good and well mannered. Trust me , no parent ever wish for their children or child to be called "bad". So right from childhood parents especially mothers are suppose to be very attentive and careful to monitor their children's actions . I mentioned mothers because children are naturally close to their mothers more than their fathers but thus not to say fathers do not have a role to play in thier child's upbringing. It is known by all that when a child is born, their minds are blank and plain with nothing inside not even a drop of ink. So this blank and plain sheet or mind of the child will now begin to pick up things around them. I always say the child's mind is a "Tabula Rasa", a Latin word meaning scrapped tablet or clean slate ,theory of knowledge and psychology, a supposed condition that empiricists attribute to the human mind before ideas have been imprinted on it by the reaction of the senses to the external world of objects. The point am trying to make is that, a child picks up what they see or hear thus why it is the parents responsibility to show them the right way go so that when they grow, they will not depart from it . This is why parents especially mothers are blamed whenever their child goes wayward because it is assumed they he or she lacked some kind of training.

( Naafi'u ) It is really difficult for me to choose who is to blame or praised with regard the two situation. In my opinion both parents have their respective and mutual roles in bringing up a child. Hence both must be accountable in what the child becomes in future. Who is to blame or praised is subjective. There are families where mothers defend their children when ever the man wants to discipline the children and vice versa. What we should find out is who amongst the two is negligence in his/ her duties. Divorce itself as a crisis has diverse effect on the upbringing of a child. many divorces have led to delinquency or waywardness in children. like i said earlier, the blame of the negative behaviour of a child in a divorce family is subjective. both the parents have respective and mutual responsibilities ın raising the child. negligence of duties of one parent should be blame in the event the child grows up to be a nuisance in the society.

( Mashud ) A child spends much of the time with the mother as a woman is considered as home maker. So when a child has a good character the mother has more than 70% of influence in that likewise bad character. Children Pay heed to mothers than any body in the family.... So blame mother much and father little